The suburban loser recites something off a post-it note he keeps in his pocket. Mi hijo mayor es vegano. His eldest son tucks his face into his shoulder as the waiter asks him in English if guacamole is okay. The suburban loser asks what everyone thought about the cenotes and their deep blue water or if they noticed he was the only one who asked the tour guide about human sacrifices. Next year, they go to San Diego. The sea lions and skate shops leave such an impression on his youngest son that he tells the suburban loser it’s his dream to live there one day once he gets a real job. He changes his username on the family computer to CaliBoy when they get home and it stays that way forever.